Need sex. Gaining weight.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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