Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
