Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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