why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
