I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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