OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
