She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
