idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
There's even glitter on my cock...
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