We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My cat gives me a boner
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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