Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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