Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
50% drunk capacity currently
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
