can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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