speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I think people are normalizing furries
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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