Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i think i have two assholes
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
