i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
