dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Need sex. Gaining weight.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize