what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
