theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Your cock deserves a montage
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
