I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
