is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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