My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
