wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
