Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
