I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
