Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I would ride that face into the sunset
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
