It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
