he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Pants are for mortals
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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