tell your sister to shave her snatch
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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