I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
