Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
