the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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