Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
