As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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