i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The air was thick with penises
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
