I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
