1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
