I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
