I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
