I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
