I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
