I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
