from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
