I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
