Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
