Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
