i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
