i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
