I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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