why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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