please come you make the beer taste better
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
