Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize