Cold hands, warm shart.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When did angry sex become our thing?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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