Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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