It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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