i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
