SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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