After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
