____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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