He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Only a mothe r could love this liver
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
