How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
false alarm, still single
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize