Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
as a side note pls kill me
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
