Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
