At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
