Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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