it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize