Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
