i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
