But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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