is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
