omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
