SEEEEXXX PLEASE
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
