You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
