apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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