You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Everclear isn't food dammit
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize